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between me and the bigger man. I couldn t even make my hand let
go of Erik s neck and reach out for the immediate salvation of
Antoine hauling me to the side of the pool.
He s terrified, Erik. This is enough.
Erik s voice never quit cajoling. ...Treasure...just try. Just try
to stand and that will be all for today. You don t have to let go, but
just try and stand. Fear has never held you back. Fear doesn t
control you...it wouldn t dare.
I think my body was just tired because I uncurled from Erik
slowly. My knees brushed down his hips and over his thighs. My
calves brushed against his until...my toes felt the tile of the bottom
of the pool. I pressed my feet down and dropped to my heels. The
water hit me about mid chest. The pool was only about five feet
deep. I wish I could say I felt stupid. I was still terrified to the point
that my whole body was shivering, as if I was in the middle of a
blizzard wearing a thin tee shirt. My teeth were chattering.
There you go, Treasure. See, you can conquer your fears. It
took a while for me to unkink my arms from around Erik s neck
and shoulders. His hands came up brushed at my cheek. I didn t
even know I was crying. I ve said that tears do not become you,
Trevor. Are you ready to get out?
I couldn t even talk. I ended up nodding. Give me your
hands. He took one step back from me. I jumped at him catching
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My Hostage My Love
him around the chest. Okay....it s all right, pet...we ll do this one
step at time when you re ready. Give me your hands.
I wanted out of this pool. My legs were unsteady and wouldn t
work on their own. If I was going to get out, I was going to have to
take his hand. I knew I was hanging on too hard. My knuckles were
white with tension but Erik never pulled back or jerked me forward.
One step at a time, my Treasure...that s it...a few more feet.
Once I was in flailing distance from the wall, I thought he
would let me go. His hand stayed in my tight grip until I actually
touched my hand to the smooth cool tile. I let go of his hand and
hauled myself up tight against the side. Erik s hands landed on
either side of me and I felt his overly warm chest press up against
my back pinning me to the side of the pool
His head dipped forward and I felt his lips brush my ear. I
understand now. You turned your fear around. Trevor...this pool
has a moving floor. It doesn t go deeper than this. It can rise up to
leave only two feet of water in it. MY Trevor mastered his fear by
building this pool. He mastered it so well that I never knew that he
was terrified of water. Now that I think of it, he never went to the
ocean.
Erik.. My throat was scratchy and burned because I ended
up swallowing chlorinated water and keened deep in my throat for
god knows however long I clung to him like a burr.
Sssh....it never occurred to me to pull files on you, on MY
Trevor. He was so strong and confident that I took everything at
face value. I m starting to think that only showed me that strength
and confidence because I needed him to be. I know you don t
remember me, but what I am now, is nothing like I was before. I
will take the time to learn you, Trevor. Fair trade, you take the time,
or at least give me a chance for you to get to know me. I will help
you overcome fears. I was His best friend. I thought I knew him
inside and out but he held back so much from me and I never knew
it. I will be your friend, not your obstacle...if you will allow me.
Antoine s bare feet stood before me on the walkway around
the pool. Erik, you ve proved your point. Let him go.
I have been brutal, Treasure. I apologize. I felt his head rest
heavily against mine. His cheek resting against mine. In a strange
way I was grateful, his abnormal body heat kept me from shivering.
And I know this is not kindergarten. I have violated you because I
could, because you bear the face of my beloved.
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Derekica Snake
I tried to climb up the side of the pool wall. His body pressed
forward pinning me tight against it and him. His breath stirred in
my ear.
No...let me explain. My Trevor loved violence. He courted it.
He seduced it into every aspect of his life. When I was finally strong
enough, secure enough, we did this to each other. Azure was what
My Trevor called me when he wanted me to be in total control. The
safe word has always been incubus. You say that, and I ll stop
doing whatever I m doing. I m not like this because of him, he
actually freed me so I could do what I wanted.
I felt a big sigh break from his chest and the warm air cascaded
over my neck and shoulder. I have scared you but my Trevor
didn t do this to me. He didn t break me like Olga says. I know I
can switch on and off. That was something I ve always done. I
scared everyone around me. The Devil just allowed me to be me. I
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