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with amazing dignity. Suddenly his eyes fell upon me, and then the good old man came right forward and
invited me to come up on the stand with the town officers. Invited me up on the stand! No town officer ever
took notice of me before I went to war. Now, I should not say that. One town officer was there who advised
the teacher to "whale" me, but I mean no "honorable mention." So I was invited up on the stand with the town
officers. I took my seat and let my sword fall on the floor, and folded my arms across my breast and waited to
be received. Napoleon the Fifth! Pride goeth before destruction and a fall. When I had gotten my seat and all
became silent through the hall, the chairman of the Selectmen arose and came forward with great dignity to
the table, and we all supposed he would introduce the Congregational minister, who was the only orator in the
town, and who would give the oration to the returning soldiers. But, friends, you should have seen the surprise
that ran over that audience when they discovered that this old farmer was going to deliver that oration himself.
He had never made a speech in his life before, but he fell into the same error that others have fallen into, he
seemed to think that the office would make him an orator. So he had written out a speech and walked up and
down the pasture until he had learned it by heart and frightened the cattle, and he brought that manuscript with
him, and taking it from his pocket, he spread it carefully upon the table. Then he adjusted his spectacles to be
sure that he might see it, and walked far back on the platform and then stepped forward like this. He must
have studied the subject much, for he assumed an elocutionary attitude; he rested heavily upon his left heel,
slightly advanced the right foot, threw back his shoulders, opened the organs of speech, and advanced his right
hand at an angle of forty-five. As he stood in that elocutionary attitude this is just the way that speech went,
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this is it precisely. Some of my friends have asked me if I do not exaggerate it, but I could not exaggerate it.
Impossible! This is the way it went; although I am not here for the story but the lesson that is back of it:
"Fellow citizens." As soon as he heard his voice, his hand began to shake like that, his knees began to tremble,
and then he shook all over. He coughed and choked and finally came around to look at his manuscript. Then
he began again: "Fellow citizens: We--are--we are--we are--we are--We are very happy--we are very
happy--we are very happy--to welcome back to their native town these soldiers who have fought and
bled--and come back again to their native town. We are especially--we are especially--we are especially--we
are especially pleased to see with us to-day this young hero (that meant me)--this young hero who in
imagination (friends, remember, he said "imagination," for if he had not said that, I would not be egotistical
enough to refer to it)--this young hero who, in imagination, we have seen leading his troops--leading--we have
seen leading--we have seen leading his troops on to the deadly breach. We have seen his shining--his
shining--we have seen his shining--we have seen his shining--his shining sword--flashing in the sunlight as he
shouted to his troops, 'Come on!'"
Oh, dear, dear, dear, dear! How little that good, old man knew about war. If he had known anything about
war, he ought to have known what any soldier in this audience knows is true, that it is next to a crime for an
officer of infantry ever in time of danger to go ahead of his men. I, with my shining sword flashing in the
sunlight, shouting to my troops: "Come on." I never did it. Do you suppose I would go ahead of my men to be
shot in the front by the enemy and in the back by my own men? That is no place for an officer. The place for
the officer is behind the private soldier in actual fighting. How often, as a staff officer, I rode down the line
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